He blogs, he cross-posts, he scores!

So in my previous post on entrepreneurial city I talked about softness and blurring boundaries, but I just realized, after a particularly bad fallout with a friend (although in his new world view, we were never friends to begin with - somewhat reminiscent of judges who, in engaging in a novel reading of a law, say that it was always this way), that I am mister compartmentalizing.

By that I mean that I have certain roles that I want people to play and that I play in return, and in those roles I feel quite safe. For example, I think that when I have straight male friends, I feel freer to admit to myself my emotional attachment to them, because I’ve ruled out the possibility of sexual contact, and thus the possibility of sexual rejection (a big source of anxiety for me, apparently). Conversely, with some friends that I have sex with, I don’t feel free to admit to emotional attachment, or the mixture of shame, pride, joy, despair and desire that such arrangements often entail for me. This means that I have a script for those arrangements too. That script is "It’s Just Sex, And That’s Okay." As if anything could ever justify sticking a "just" in front of a complex social interaction like sex. It would be like saying "It’s Just Rocket Science" or "It’s Just Hegel." One could imagine a rocket scientist or Hegel scholar maybe saying such things, but to say "it’s just sex" brings a whole new level of arrogance to the table.

Compartmentalizing is a reaction to totalizing worldviews (like "all sex is bad except within a monogamous heterosexual non-transgendered marriage," or even "sex without love is bad" - which just sort of shifts the question to "what is love?"), but I think it’s time my pendulum started to swing back. No penis jokes please.

Where no fag has gone before

I've been watching an awful amount of Star Trek: Enterprise. I must admit, it's mainly the Scott Bakula factor. Also the frequent gratuitous male shirtlessness. The show's writing is somewhat hokey and fanboyish.

As an adjunct to my watching, I've been reading episode summaries (those who know me know that I don't always pay full attention to television shows when I watch them) and reading up on Star Trek in general.

In my reading I came across this page about Star Trek's ongoing heterosexism. It's chock-full of information, as well as text. A lot of it.

Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try

I never thought my blog was evergreen
or as unchanging as the sea.
But if you can still remember,
stop and think of me.

I haven't posted in, like, forever. My strategy of fragmenting my life into four to five different blogs seems to be a spectacular failure. I thought that having different "themed" blogs would result in me posting more frequently. This has turned out to be true overall. However, it means I spend much less time updating each blog. My personal blog on LJ has suffered the most, being reduced to quick laundry lists of things I've done recently. I've utterly neglected reading and posting on the various LJ communities. It's the blogging equivalent of having waay too much stuff.

At the same time, I find myself wanting more attention (i.e. comments) on my food and faggotry blogs (the food blog is communal, so the sting of rejection seems to be less. At least we've got each other.)

I've also started writing over on entrepreneurial city with my good friend Rich, who's finishing up a PhD down in Stanford. It's a musing on life in Silicon Valley. Most of my posts, of course, have to do with my memories of the Valley, rather than current happenings.

So Happy New Year all. My resolution is low, but I'm hoping to get some focus soon.

Haha I made a pun.