What's up with gay folk and The Namesake?

So I went to see the Namesake recently (it was excellent, btw), and noticed that about half the people in the theatre were gay. Or at least, gay-lookin. What's up with that? Why do we love this movie?

Is it the whole guilt about parents thing or what?

Enlighten me, internets!

The Shirtless Guys Post

Photo of Three Shirtless Guys from A. Currell

Is taking your shirt off always liberating?

I used to envy the athletic straight boys for what I saw as their exclusive ability to be thoughtlessly shirtless. Taking sides for football, jogging around a reservoir on a muggy day, or even just lazing around outside, all seemed to be as comfortable for them sans shirts.

Having been told (I use the passive voice, because to name names would be oh so incriminating. Also exhausting) that my fat body was shameful, I hid it away under large T-shirts. I did not reach the point of wearing a T-shirt while swimming (which I have seen), except once at the beach when I was feeling particularly ashamed for some reason. Swimming aside, however, I was uncomfortable with my shirt off, and wondered often what it would be like not to be so uncomfortable.

I've lost some of that childhood fat, and also learned that it might be okay not being ashamed of my body, whatever its size. However, my shirtlessness concerns remain.


Shirtless - Winter in LA by Pay No Mind

Today was a hot day, and we went to the park for a picnic. There were many shirtless men there, of course. I've noticed that SF's shirtlessness threshold is quite low. Temperatures reaching anything above 50 degrees in San Francisco, or more than 1 hour of continuous sunshine, prompts spontaneous shirtlessness (we're so British this way). Nevertheless, today was hot enough that even I considered shedding my top, but I decided against it, still too embarrassed, after all these years.

It got me thinking, however, about the etiquette of shirtlessness I saw at Dolores Park today. Almost uniformly, the men I saw shirtless were either slim, muscular or at least on the somewhat worked out side. Now, while I am not so body-dysmorphic as to exclude myself completely from this category, I also believe that I am not so firmly centered in this category as to uncontroversially pass for "conventionally pleasant to look at with shirt off." I saw only two men shirtless whom you might call fat (and not fat like bears with lots of muscle and soft beliies, but I mean fat with no hint of muscle tone).

There were also plenty of guys like me, in the not-uncontroversially-hot category, who kept our shirts on.


Shirtless from Socksasgloves


Waikiki Beach from Nite773

Which makes me wonder if, for the toned and thin, taking their shirts off is as liberating as for the non-toned-and-thin.

To compare: one often imagines that a high paying job is more liberating than a low paying one. Yet, above a certain salary, people (at least lawyers) report decreasing job satisfaction as their pay goes up. The stress of living up to such a high level of expectation likely plays into this lack of satisfaction.

After all, part of the allure of shirtlessness for me is as an indicator of lack of self-consciousness. If you have to look good to go shirtless, then you're conscious of being looked at, and you care about what those lookers think.


Frank from Frankfarm

On the other hand, perhaps being shirtless facilitates a lack of self-consciousness. To return to the idea of swimming - once you get used to it, the water isn't so cold. Similarly, once you get used to having your shirt off, you don't feel... well, shirtless.

Am I absurd for thinking so much about being without a shirt? We all start life shirtless, after all.


Shirtless Little Guys from Manda